Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?
'Have you ever kissed someone?'
'Missed someone?'
'Told someone you loved them?'
'Drank alcohol?'
BLAH BLAH BLAH

50 questions for the people who are a little older....

What bill do you hate paying the most?
Electric...gets pretty damn hot in Dallas


Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Nah, gotta get busy at some point!

If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
Being a smoker

Name of your first grade teacher?
Ms. Gelsomino

What do you really want to be doing right now?
A survey... but alas, I never fill them out...

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I don't even remember at this point

How many colleges did you attend?
5

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Easily washed if a kid spits up on me

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
Damned oil-men and speculators

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Yay! It's Friday!

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I hope I don't have to get up to pee

Do you miss being a child?
I hated childhood – so no 

What errand/chore do you despise?
Car maintenance

If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
yes

Get up early or sleep in?
sleep in

What is your favorite cartoon character?
Stay-Puft Marshmallow man... always reminds me of Fergus   lol

Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Use your imagination

Have you found real love yet?
4 times... I have been lucky

When did you first start feeling old?
When I realized that I truly need coffee in the morning


What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
A little pissed off

beach or lake?
Why? Is there a party?

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
nope


What's your drink?
What time of day is it?

Cowboys or Indians?
Pirates! 

Cops or Robbers?
Pirates!

Who from high school would you like to run in to?
With my car? Too many to list

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Arrrgh  neither

Grey's or 'The Office?
The Office is the best show on tv

Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Believing that he meant it when he said he wanted a future

Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work
I face a beige wall but I like him ok... he never treats me to lunch though

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Ron Paul... he is brilliant

Indoors or Outdoors?
outdoors please

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Not in 22 years

Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No... but I would love to read some stories about other uses

Last book you read?
Rereading Tolkein

Do you have a teddy bear?
In an box somewhere

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
?????


Do you go to church?
Heavens no... I mean hell no....

At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Neither!  We shall see how things unfold!

How old are you?
37 and yeah, some dirt is younger than me

1) Favorite hobby?
Almost anything that involves sitting on my ass

2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Uh, no

3) Do you own guns?
Several!  My dad was big into NRA!

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
None

5) What do you think of hot dogs?
Had better be kosher... I don't like eating chicken lips and assholes

LOL


6) Favorite Christmas song?
Oh holy night



8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee!!!!!!Get out of my way!!!!



9) Can you do push ups?
I can try... wait, there IS no try...

10) What is your best feature?
Free long distance  lol




11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
Tiara... but these days I only wear it to bed





12) What's your biggest Pet Peeve?
Those that go 30 mph in the fast lane with their blinker on





13) Have you ever been in a car wreck?
Rectum? I didn't even know 'em!



14) Do you have ADD?
Depends what I am trying to pay attention to



15) What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
General laziness




16) Middle name?
Lynn

17) Name 5 thoughts at this exact moment.

-- Damn that kid can scream really loud
-- Damn I really need to clean off my desk
-- There IS such a thing as a free lunch
-- Damn my free lunch didn't come with salad dressing
-- Damn sweet my coworker gave me hers  :D

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday.


Gas
Fast food
Upset stomach... but it was FREE with the fast food



19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
-coffee
-water
-Alcohol
Those might be in the incorrect order

20) Current worry?
is the answer for 19 in the correct order?



21) Current hate right now?
Back-to-school rush

22) How did you bring in the New Year?
Hung out with a bunch of Rennies at Darian and Truett's house :D



24) Where would you like to be right now?
Bethany and Denise's pool



25) Name three people who will complete this?
Dunno, long survey... maybe Crystal, Jill and Kit



26) Do you own slippers?
I like to rent footwear



27) What shirt are you wearin?
Scrubs top



28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Sure I like to slip and slide in bed :D



29) Can you whistle?
Not well

31) Would you be a pirate?
I AM a pirate!  Well, sort of...

32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is stuck in my head



33) 3 favorite girl's names?
Bertha, Edwina and Delores



34) 3 favorite boy's names?
Pertheus, Stanley and Ludwig   lol



35) What's in your pockets?
Lint



37) Best bed sheets as a child?
Rubber before age 2

38) Worst injury you've ever had?
Shattered maxillary sinus from a pissed off horse

39) Do you love where you live?
I might if I had a housekeeper

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
One that works



41) Who is your loudest friend?
OMG that is too hard to answer... Wilma? Shaz? I would say myself for sure


42) How many dogs do you have?
Two beautiful poopy dogs

43) Does someone have a crush on you?
As far as I know no one ever has   lol



45) What is your favorite book?
Harry Potter... don't laugh, they are fabulous



46) What is your favorite candy?
Butterfinger



47) Favorite Sports Team?
NONE

49) What were you doing at 12am?
Last night? Sleeping... but it depends on the night  :D

50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I hope I have a chance to fill out a survey today!  My friends are getting worried!

Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
Not that I can remember?   lol

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
I wouldn't have kissed him if I didn't

Who was the last person to call you?
Phil...making plans for happy hour tonight!

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Diet coke...would taste much better with rum

Would you take any of your exes back?
Hell no!   They are on their own  LMAO

When is the last time you cried?
Passing those jalepenos again

Last text from?
Denise...no, you are not butch

Are you scared of spiders?
Only if they look like clowns or I stumble through a web

When was the last time you were so drunk you threw up?
Not as long ago as I would like

Do you miss anyone?
Nope!  I target practice

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Again, only if I could get back...the eighties were crazy, man

What are your plans for this weekend?
Party at Doofal's, then to Waco to see Dunkin  :D

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
Yeah...always want a shower afterwards

Ever been to a bonfire party?
Aboslutley!  I am a rennie!!!

Have you ever been on a horse?
I am an extra at the clown rodeo...OMG, what the hell am I saying?


Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Any of you remember Cliff?  HAHAHAHA!!!

What's irritating you right now?
Having to wait until happy hour


Are you afraid of the dark?
just what's IN the dark...the clowns...OMG the fucking clowns...


What is the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
Indy Jones with Dunkin


Do you get distracted easily?
Who said that?  Where is that buzzing sound coming from?

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Kept the cavity creeps at bay

What was your childhood nickname?
Juicy...I hated high school

Is this year the best year of your life?
It's not over yet lol

Do you have any strange phobias?
Surveys kinda freak me out

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Depends on buzz level

Do you give out second chances too easily?
Probably!  Hell, if I deserve one...even if I don't...

Are you jealous of someone?
Bill Gates...he gets to retire

Do you have a best friend?
Several!  I am too lovable to have only one   LMAO

Do you flirt a lot?
Uh, yeah, I am a rennie

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Been there, done that, 14 years...see-ya!


Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
That is just kinda gross

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Uh, yeah, I am a rennie

have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Hertz?  I prefer Avis

If you could go back in time would you change things with an ex?
Aboslutley!  Ask me in person...no, don't...

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I make a fabulous boyfriend

Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds?
Depends on buzz level

Have you ever dated Someone Older Than You?
Yes...14 years difference was a BIG mistake

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Not everyone!  Some people are intentionally idiots!!!

Where did you buy the shirt you are wearing right now?
Not wearing a shirt...oh yes I am, forgot I was at work

Are you wearing anything on your feet?
A strong sense of foot-loose-osity

Have you hit someone today?
Yeah, playing Grand Theft Auto   lol

Do you burn easily in the sun?
Vampire blood leaves me looking pasty

Are you happy with life right now?
Aboslutley!  And yes, I know I spelled it that way...private joke   lol

Are you on someone elses mind right now?
My creditors, we have been through this one before

How have you felt today?
With my fingers

What color are your fingernails?
Clear to partly cloudy

What's your favorite song?
Divided Sky by Phish

Are you a forgiving person?
Why? What have you done to piss me off this time?

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Boss...arrrghhh!!!!

Are you taller than 5'6?
5'10", hi down there to you short people  lol

What's your favorite color?
Red!!!

Do you like to cuddle?
Aboslutley!  It's free!

When you think of the rainbow, what pops into your head?
Why there are so many damned songs about them...and what's on the other side

What do you look forward to in the next few months?
Middlefaire, TRF, living though them

Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
Yeah, this survey, at gunpoint

Do you always get along with your siblings?
These days...I just don't talk to her much, I am much cooler  lol

When's the next time you'll see your best friends?
Tomorrow at happy hour!  And I can't wait for Wilma to move back!



When did your last hug take place and who was it with?
Sunday Sunday Sunday with Dunkin Dunkin Dunkin

Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
Only my faire name "Azriel"  ...  no, not "ass-real"

Do you drink tea?
Long Island? Aboslutley!

Are you taller then your mom?
She is shrinking hehee

Are you an emotional person?
No!  SHUT UP!!! Stop fucking with me!   *sniffles*

Last text from?
Denise...stop calling me "butch"

Who were you with last night?
Jasper Greyskull Knickerbottoms and my dogs

Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far or that messed up ?
This survey is too short to go into details

Do you miss anyone?
Yes but my aim is improving

Do you have trust issues?
I would rather have a trust fund

What are you currently doing?
Forced into doing this survey



Does anyone hate you for no reason?
No one has EVER hated me  lol

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Only if I could get back! 

Who was your FIRST date?
Ken...and yeah, I was called Barbie

What was your FIRST alcoholic DRINK?
Champagne with my parents as a kid...heheheh...they just wanted me to sleep

What was your FIRST job?
I was cool!  Record store clerk! Got the job b/c I typed the application


What was your FIRST nickname?
Juicy...damn high school bitches...


Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Hell if I know... a lot of brain cells are gone

Who was your FIRST best friend?
Michelle...I am sure that questions like this just fascinate everyone

What was your FIRST sport played?
Soccer...YMCA...played with the sisters from the Dixie Chicks...known them since I was 8


Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Coworker...ugh

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
Cousins ~~ me too Vulture!  I bet I looked better in the dress

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Fed my baby parrot! 

What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
OMG don't laugh...seriously, if you want an honest answer...Lionel Richie

FIRST tattoo?
And last!  Wolf paw

FIRST foreign country you went to?
Canada...but I was too young to take advantage of some of their lenient policies

What was your FIRST run in with the law?
Highschool, got a ticket....  ~~  me too Vulture!  But not my last heheh...ask me in person...no, don't...

When was your FIRST detention?
6th grade...damn gym teacher was chewing gum while she wrote me up for chewing gum

What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Insanity

Who was the FIRST roomate?
My insanity

Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
Prom...the only time ever...   :(

Who was ur first love?
Ken, as above...and I NEVER looked like a Barbie

Who was the last person to call you?
Called me what?  People talkin' shit about me?


Are you there for your friends?
I would say that I am here for them


How different are you from three years ago?
HAHAHAHAHA!!! You have no idea...I didn't know many people at Faire back then...but I went anyway!

When's the next time you will see the person you like?
Hopefully in the mirror...if the clothes are flattering  lol

Have you ever cried and didn't know why?
Absolutely!  It feels great! B/c you realize, wow, I have nothing to cry about!

Your view on drugs?
make your own choices  ~~ I agree with Vulture, as long as safety for self and others is involved

Do you hate being alone?
no...I can do lots of things alone  :D

What's your favorite color?
Blue...no, yell..aaaaarrrrrrrgghhhhhh!!!!!!

Do you get along with girls?
Most of my friends would call themselves women...but you girly ones know who you are

Ever gotten lost in the dark?
i was disoriented because there were rabid clowns after me...double threat

What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
keep'em on the line as long as possible... less time to bug someone else ~~ Damn Vulture you must be kidding

Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
HMMMM....both! Right!  Room service to my tent would be FABULOUS!!! Do TRF camping rates apply?  :D

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
not everything...but most

Have you ever been called a bad influence?
No though I surely deserved it 

Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
You might wanna back off if I don't

Opposite sex on your mind?
What's the opposite of sex? Going to the DMV?  Yeah, that's on my mind  sux  :(

What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about?
Wilma and Cuthbert are getting married!  Yay!


Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say?
He would never say that...and who could hate perfectly nice little ol' me?  Oh yeah, the kids I have to hold down

What were you doing before this?
Watching The Daily Show...as all of you should too :)